So I realize that while I work on Luck or Fate I get a kind of comfort from it. I think this comes from Luck or Fate being such a large part of my life. I've worked on it so much over the past two years and it's part of the reason I'm still here now, I want to make it mean something to someone else. I guess in a way I want people to learn something from it.
My friends tell me that it's an addictive and extensive story that deals with issues that have such a sensitive topic well and I understand what they mean by the addictive part because if I start reading it I just don't stop, which is a problem when I'm trying to edit. It also is a really good thing that I like reading LoF because I read it so often while I'm working on it.
I was out with my cousin today and I didn't know how to tell her that I've hit the point where I feel like I want to give up. I mean LoF means so much to me but I sometimes wonder why I'm putting all this effort into it when some people think that it's a waste of my time. I'd love to have it published and it mean something to other people. But I dunno, I guess It's just that I've spent so much time on it lately that it's turned more into work then for fun. I'll resume my editing later on tonight, do not fear of that.
I got to the stage the other day where I just wanted to delete the whole thing, so I now continually send copies to a friend and she keeps one in her email inbox and one on her computer, as well as one on a flash drive just so that if I do delete it and want it back she'll have it for me. Last time I wanted to delete it I just got up and walked away from my computer, of course this seemed a little weird to dad because I had been furiously typing away before hand. Anyway I'm done talking crap for the night.
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